Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dear Bastard- mature content- i am going on 24 this yr

Dear Bastard,
I made it to 21,working on 22 this year.I bet you didnt think I would get this far. I have a lot to show right now, and if you could see me now.What you did to me in the past, you know ruining my Childhood slowed me down entering my mid teen’s,But growing up now i can see what you did and its Not My Fault. You had a Problem with Little Girls, and i am Sure you did the same to your Daughter and she may have came threw it just like I did.



Looking back on thoes days when I would help you out with your problem. I didnt see, I didnt see the Bad Side of things. I never thought it was Bad until someone Open my eyes and showed me, what was happening. You stole my innocence, Something that i could never get back.. You de’flowered a Little girl.. You managed to Turn me in to a Slut durning my tween’s (before teenage years) After you started you bad Habits with me, you unlocked a door which should have never been unlocked till Much much older. Since the Door was left wide open when you were arrested for Other reason besides mine, I craved the feeling you used to bring to me. I began to Search for thoes feeling you left me without, I went threw guys like water. Some i left hanging in the wind while others Ripped my heart, a few I held together, And now One I have been with since before my 18th Brithday..



Running around in my prior years never left me with a child stuck in the rain, it didnt teach me how to hurt others,I never did anything to say otherwise. I had a rought teenage years but I managed, living with my mother was a lil uneasy since she didnt try to Protect me until it was to late. I didnt know what to do when I talked to her about issues I had. I wouldn’t talk to my mom much because of you, Everything you did to me i never told her cause of the time I tryed,(I am sure you remember) it was on the Boat in San Diego, i wrote in my lil diary what i was doing and with who i was doing it with (you), I wrote my feelings even at 7 or 8, i felt something Off and not right.. you found the diary and showed it to my mom.. She was soo Mad and you both started yelling about it, she threw it in to the ocean, while you ripped her shirt and I had to hop out of the hatch to jump on the dock to get Help.. i remember the police comming out and you got taken away for domestic violence or somthing simliar. You returned soon enough and took place right where you left off.. Sorry got side-tracked,Since then I didnt talk to mom about anything in fear she would just be angry with me and not believe me..



Nice work Dad, I dont even know why I call you dad, you are not my dad, no where near my sperm donor but yet I grew up with you, you helped me when I scraped my knee. I know who my father is, and he is Not you My father may have not been around like you but He would have NEVER done the things you did to me.. and if you too ever met I am Sure he would have no problem Hurting you like you Hurt me over and over again..



looking around me now, I notice you affected my life in so many ways. You taught me to be un-loving, you taught me to be Angry, you taught me how to hurt, and how to push away and remove feeling from some one I care about.. You taught me a world of living life un-grateful. Teaching me these things affect me. at 21 I have no family (working on it) at 21 I have no job,(cant seem to keep one due to the emotional stress you helped me earn) at 21 I freak out in public places in fear I could see your face at any time, I know the police told me you were banned from USA for 7 yrs and well Now thoes 7yrs are up. I am thankfull you dont know where I live, and you dont know anything about me now.. I just wanted to tell you .. you broke me when I was young but you wont ever break me now!

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